Alicorn, Alicorns Everywhere
by N-24-13
Summary: It was just a normal day for Twilight that turns for the worse when Alicorns start showing up out of no where. This is parody of those bad OC self-inserts that are alicorns and are very unoriginal and have random clop. Note: no clop in this story.


It was a day like any other in the peaceful town of Ponyville. A few white, fluffy clouds held onto a beautifully blue sky. Our heroes were already about their business: Applejack bucking apple trees, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie pulling fun pranks on some of the Ponyvillians, Rarity making everything look _fabulous,_ and Fluttershy was helping Twilight with the library's weekly cleaning.

Twilight levitated the feather duster to brush off a thin layer of dust that sat atop books she hadn't touched in ages. Fluttershy could reach the top shelf using her wings so she was responsible for dusting the higher up areas. Spike sat on the floor sorting books into piles because Twilight had decided that it was time that the books needed to be organized...again.

"Twilight, why do I have to do this again?" Asked a very bored baby dragon as he separated another two books and put them into their respective order.

"Because Spike, the books need to be alphabetical by author, not by title." Twilight said. She had been absolutely horrified that she had made such a mistake. So Twilight, being the queen of organization, decided that the whole library needed to be reorganized, and today that project would finally be done.

"But it's so boring..." Spike groaned as he scratched his scaly head.

"It doesn't have to be boring, organization can be fun." Twilight responded. Spike sighed, somehow his unicorn friend actually took joy in organizing books, writing lists, or even making a schedule. It was always boring, but being the best number one assistant he could be: he soldiered through it. "After we're done well go out and find gems, just for you."

Spike put more vigor into his organizing because the faster he got done; the faster he got to eat those scrumptious rubies, delectable sapphires, or those delicious diamonds. Twilight smiled before that her assistant had finally showed some interesting in the wonderful world of organization. She ran the feather duster over another set of books.

"Twilight...I'm done." Twilight's timid yellow friend voiced quietly. She gracefully fluttered down to the floor.

"Thank you, Fluttershy, you've been a big help." Twilight praised the shy mare. Fluttershy smiled, happy with praise as a reward. "Would you like a beverage?"

"Oh no, I couldn't. You've got so much to do; I wouldn't want to bother you." Fluttershy said, in almost a whisper, but that was her normal voice anyway.

"It's no trouble at all." Twilight assured. "How about a nice glass of lemonade?"

"Oh my, that sounds lovely, thank you." The pink manned pony answered. Fluttershy beamed: glad to have a friend that would go out of her way just to get her a drink. Twilight smiled back as she went to the kitchen to fetch a jug of lemonade.

Fluttershy sipped a tiny bit of the drink when she received a glass. "Thank you."

"I got you one too, Spike for being my number one assitant." Twilight smiled at the little dragon and used her magic to levitate a glass of ice cold lemonade to him.

"Thanks, Twilight. I just finished up." Spike put the last book on the bottom shelf. He gulped down the contents of the glass in less than ten seconds.

Twilight poured herself a drink and sipped on it.

"So...um...Twilight, I was meaning to ask you something I've been wondering about-" Fluttershy was cut off by a loud boom and a blinding flash that came from outside the tree house. "Eeeeep!"

"What was that?" Twilight ran to the window, Spike following close behind. She couldn't see anything besides a large group of ponies all gathered around in the center of town. Twilight hadn't heard that any pony special was coming to town, so ran out the door to investigate.

The ponies in the crowd were murmuring to each other as Twilight pushed slowly through the throng of bodies. Spike was close behind, and had a good grip on her tail. Twilight pushed between two ponies to finally get to the figurative eye of the storm. Twilight's jaw dropped.

"What is it, Twi?" Spike asked, before her pulled himself into position on her back. The dragon leaned forward to get a view of a...pony? "It's just a pony."

"Not just any pony, Spike, an alicorn." She was still in awe, another alicorn, wait until the princess here's about this. The alicorn looked full grown, and it was lying face down in the dirt, asleep. Twilight took a few steps closer to the alicorn. "Excuse me?"

The alicorn stirred in its slumber, and soon its eyes opened. It looked at its hooves in amazement, like it was new to him...her...it. Then its face formed an expression of pure joy, and its wings unfurled and gave a flap.

"I'm in Equestria!" A masculine voice shouted. Twilight squeed in excitement, a male alicorn! As far as she knew, there hadn't been any male alicorn in Equestria for a long time. This _male _alicorn had a green coat with a mane that had so much spray in it stuck straight back.

Twilight approached him with a big grin on her face; just imagining all the new lessons in friendship she could learn from this new found alicorn.

"Hello, I'm Twilight Sparkle and-" The purple unicorn started her routine.

"Oh. My. God. Twilight Sparkle!" The alicorn hopped in place with excitement. "I ship you with Rarity!"

"What?" Twilight asked. Ship? With Rarity? Twilight was confused, she had never heard such a term before, but it was a strange enough situation anyway. "Where are you from?"

"Earth, you see I was human, and then a portal opened up, I was sucked in and I'm here now." He beamed. Twilight had never heard of Earth or hu-mans before.

"Where's Earth?" Twilight asked, she was truly interested to know, but before he could answer a loud crack downed out all the noise. A few seconds later, a loud scream could be heard coming from Sugar Cube Corner. Twilight sprung to action, with Spike on her back she galloped through the crowd towards the candy clad building.

Upon bursting through the double doors that guarded the entrance to the bakery, Twilight was greeted by Pinkie, whose hair was flat and tears streaked her face, it was very unlike the Pinkie Pie that Twilight knew.

"Pinkie what's wrong?" Twilight put a hoof on her shoulder. Pinkie Pie leaned into her unicorn friend, and wrapped a hoof around her.

"There was a big crack and then a pony with a horn and wings appeared." Pinkie sniffed back a string of mucus.

"Another alicorn?" Two in one day, Twilight was stupefied. As if on cue, the alicorn of interest at the moment stepped out from the kitchen and Pinkie buried her head in Twilight's mane.

"I was extra super happy to meet a new friend, but he wanted to see the basement." Pinkie cried out. The day was just getting stranger and stranger. "He yelled at me when I showed him it. He told me that I was crazy that I decorated the place with bones of the ponies I murdered. He said I killed Dashie, cut off her wings, and made her insides into cupcakes."

Twilight held back a bit of bile that was making its way up to escape. Unfortunately, Spike couldn't. He spat up on the floor, the lemonade from earlier spreading out on the floor.

"Why would you say such horrible things to Pinkie Pie?" Twilight asked the strange looking alicorn. He had red and black coloring all over his body and his mane was in spikes, tail docked.

"Hey, you know how many Cupcakes sequels I've written? I think I know a little more about Pinkie than you." He said in a whinny accusatory tone.

"What? Are you from Earth too?" Twilight stroked Pinkie's mane as she spoke.

"Yes. My life sucked, my mom wanted is to play outside and eat vegetables, my dad wanted me to do a sport and he didn't buy me COD. Yeah so my life was awful, but I'm here now, and we can all be friends, but I'll be the most powerful of course, and you'll all love me." His voice was quite annoying.

Twilight understood about half of that rambling. No pony had ever made Pinkie this sad, she wasn't even this sad when she thought her friends had ditched her.

"I don't know why you said those awful things, but you need to leave." Twilight demanded. The Princess would defiantly be hearing about this. Another loud crack. Twilight groaned: this could not be good. Another scream, this one very high pitched and girly, Rarity.

"Oh no, that's Rarity!" Spike shirked. He hopped off Twilight's back and started to run out the door. "I'm coming Rarity!"

Twilight unwrapped herself from Pinkie and followed the concerned purple dragon. Spike could run unexpectedly quick on his short stubby legs of his, but Twilight could still easily catch up with him. Twilight levitated him onto her back, and broke into a gallop to cover the short distance from Sugar Cube Corner to Carousel Boutique.

Twilight burst through the door of the fashion designer's business. Somehow Twilight knew she'd be meeting another alicorn and her intuition was right...but this one... It was black with red stripes all over; its wings were leathery just like a bat's. Its horn was missing a round chunk. A slithering forked tongue escaped the alicorn's lips. All-in-all he looked nasty.

"Rarity!" Spike cried as he ran over to his crush. The white unicorn was cowering in a corner, muttering things to herself.

"Oh Spiky-Wiky! It was awful; this brute appeared out of nowhere and destroys my whole new dress line!" Rarity sobbed because it was the worst possible thing that could have happened. Spike wrapped her hoof up in a hug as he listened.

"I am no brute! I am Ice Fire blade! I was a human on Earth who was bullied, then I killed myself, because I was bullied sometimes in hopes I would to come to Equestria. I am part pony, zebra, and dragon. I am the father of both Luna and Celestia, and I am the most powerful mage to ever live!" The monstrous alicorn said. Twilight couldn't believe what she was hearing, some of the things she was hearing were impossible.

"Look, I don't care who you are or where you alicorns are coming from you need to stop scaring my friends." Twilight reasoned.

"I did not want to scare Rarity; I was merely trying to mount her." The alicorn said.

"What?" Spike shouted, before he angrily stomped over to the ugly alicorn.

"Rarity and I are in love, I just know it. So as lovers do I tried mounting her." The monster announced his love for a pony he met three minutes before.

"Love? You? Never, I require to be romanced, but a gentlecolt." Rarity spoke out.

"That what I was doing, mounting counts as romancing, right?" The alicorn asked in such a way that it was obvious that he didn't care what the response was, but Twilight was going to give him one anyway.

"No, it does not! What are you ten?" She yelled. Spike wanting to be Rarity's knight in shining armor punched the hybrid zebra-pony-dragon in the leg.

"Did you just punch the most powerful pony to ever live?" He yelled. Black aura came off his horn before a bolt of black stuck Spike and threw him back several feet. He didn't move.

"Spike!" Twilight galloped up to her number one assistant and friend. She poked him with a hoof, no movement. "Spike, no."

"Now, nothing will stand in my way of being with my love!" The monster alicorn said gleefully.

"I will!" Twilight shouted tears streaming down her face. The alicorn opened his mouth and shot fire at the floor, narrowly missing the purple unicorn, and setting the whole building ablaze.

"My dresses!" Rarity screamed before running to her inspiration room. Fire was spreading everywhere, threating to burn though the foundation of the building. Twilight wasn't about to lose another friend today, but before she could go save Rarity she found herself caught in the grip of a black aura. She was thrown through the window, glass cutting her back, and out onto the lawn. Then the building collapsed behind her.

She looked out to the town and was shocked at what she saw. Alicorns thousands of them, everywhere causing more chaos than Discord himself. Off in the distance a few alicorns were forcing Lyra and Bon Bon to kiss. Sweet Apple Acers was swarmed by a mass of them. The whole Apple family in the barn, Applejack and Big Mac trying to hold the doors closed. Fluttershy was trapped by nearly two hundred alicorns. Pinkie Pie was stuck in her basement as the throng of alicorns attempted to get her to cut open a pony. Rainbow Dash was caught in the hooves of the ponies outside Sweet Apple Acers' barn. They were telling her that she was going to fall in love with AJ and they would watch something they called 'clop.'

"Hey look its Twilight!" An alicorn spotted her; more of the beasts seemed to come out of thin air to surround her. They yelled that they love her and they fought over the right to be the one to 'romance' her. Twilight couldn't understand half of what they were saying.

"Leave me alone!" She shouted before she was sucked into the crowd.

Twilight opened her eyes, cold sweat moisten her brow. She sighed in relief, it was all a dream. Luna's moon was still high in the sky. She heard Spike's soft breathing in his little bed.

"Alright." She whispered to herself. "This is the last time I have curry before bed."


End file.
